Dear [Firstname] [Lastname], after receiving exactly two emails asking the same question using slightly different words, we thought it would be a nice gesture to help you stay on top of things by getting to the bottom of the questions in question. Granted that all people are unique, we personalized it for all our subscribers so you can dig in and find your own exclusive answer to: whatever happened to Spam?

Whatever happened to spam? Academic answer.

The demarcation between a happening (the occurrence or event) and a non-happening (non-occurrence, non-event) can at best be elusive and at worst impossible to recognize given that if nothing occurs then that is the occurrence. In pairing the forementioned with the fact that the observer automatically becomes the “whatever” that “happened” to the observed it becomes obvious that even the most methodical and meticulously third-party verified empirical study of the evidence at hand, will not be able to give a fuller answer than the question itself provided.

Whatever happened to spam? New-Age answer. answer.

Breathe in and sit open-minded in the free-thinking eternal energy that has always been and realize that the answer was in you all along. Breathe out and start walking the two-folded path of interconnectedness in loving acceptance that spam happened, or… whatever. 

Whatever happened to spam? Product placement answer.

This answer is brought to you by Oatly Soft serve, the greatest soft serve of all time if you want to forget what you just asked and think about softly swirled ice cream instead. All taste and no nutrition is its middle name* and if you think about it, who cares whatever happened to Spam? You’re thinking about Oatly soft serve now and that’s what you’ve always been thinking of.
 
*First name is Kurt, last name unknown.

Was this what happened to spam? Before: Man with a headache. After: Man breathing.

Whatever happened to spam? Broken keyboard answer.

 o, you’re a  ing what happened to  pam? Well I don’t  now exactly what’  up with  pam! The thing i , I don’t  now how to  tart explaining, wait why are all the  ’  and  ’  
mi  ing? I  thi   eyboard bro en? I  that what happened to  pam? That everything ju t bro e? That  uc  ! I can’t wor  li e thi ! I’m an arti t! At lea t if you a   my mother, and  he never lie . I’ll end thi  now, it   tarting to feel li e a complete wa te of time. 

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